Dirty talk is an erotic sexual activity that can also be incredibly intimate. Really good dirty talk, where all partners feel safe and aroused, begins with really good communication.
And a little practice đ
Iâve helped many clients explore their sexual fantasies and learn how to talk dirty confidently. Letâs explore everything I recommend to my clients who want to learn how to dirty talk.
What Is Dirty Talking?
Dirty talk involves using tantalizing, explicit words and phrases to seduce and excite your partner. Known in research circles as âerotic talkâ or âsex talk,â it includes all the intimate communications that occur during and about sex. Whether youâre sharing your wildest fantasies or whispering seductive words, dirty talk adds a thrilling and provocative dimension to your intimate encounters.
Why Dirty Talk Is Good For Relationships
Dirty talking can heighten your sexual experiences by adding layers of sexual tension, excitement, and deep emotional connection. Done well, itâs not reciting a scriptâyouâll discover itâs about authenticity, spontaneity, and responding to the moment.
For those who are feeling self-conscious, this might feel awkward AF, but trust meâonce you figure it out, dirty talk can become a powerful tool in your sexual repertoire.
Like many aspects of sexuality, dirty talk is about communication and vulnerability. Itâs about being in tune with your partnerâs desires and openly expressing your own. Itâs also about creating a safe space where both partners can explore their fantasies without judgment (And okay, itâs about laughing, too, because it can be funny).
Getting Comfortable With Dirty Talk
Getting comfortable with dirty talk starts with focusing on the positive and embracing the playful aspects of intimacy. To incorporate dirty talk in your sex life, I recommend the following:
- Accentuate the Positive: Start by using your five senses to describe your partner. Take a moment to appreciate how they look, smell, sound, feel, and taste. Use descriptive words to convey what youâre experiencing. For instance, tell them how their scent drives you wild or how their touch sends shivers down your spine. Complimenting your partner can boost both of your confidences and make the experience more enjoyable.
- Sexy Time: When it comes to the actual moment, keep things light and fun. Use positive reinforcement to guide your partner. Tell them what you love about what theyâre doing, like, âYou feel amazing inside meâ or âI love the way you touch me.â This not only encourages them but also helps you stay present and connected. If you need assistance to move from saying things like, âYouâre doing it wrongâ, letâs talk.
- Practice Makes Perfect: Itâs probably going to feel a bit awkward at first. Thatâs okay. Laugh if you need to, and let those giggles ease the tension. Remember, sex can be silly, and itâs okay to have fun with it. The more you practice, the more comfortable and confident youâll become.
- Create a Safe Space: Ensure that both you and your partner feel safe and respected. Discuss boundaries and preferences beforehand, so you both know whatâs exciting and what to avoid. This open communication creates a trusting environment where you can both explore freely.
By focusing on these positive, playful aspects, you can gradually get more comfortable with dirty talk, turning it into a natural and enjoyable part of your intimate experiences.
Tips For Talking Dirty
Let dirty talk be a fun and exciting exploration between you and your partner. Itâs not a one-size-fits-all situation; you have the freedom to define and design what dirty talk means for you. Spend time being open and curious about different ideas and discover what excites both of you. Embrace the journey of finding your unique voice and style in dirty talk.
As for tips, I recommend the following:
- Consent: Before diving into dirty talk, discuss boundaries and establish mutual agreement on what is exciting and what to avoid. Consent is key to creating a safe and enjoyable experience for both of you.
- Pre-Play Prep: Start by discussing with your partner what they like and what terms turn them on or off. Practice using your âbreathy voiceâ to find the right tone.
- Mindset: Embrace a playful and confident attitude. Itâs okay to laugh and then let your sexual energy build again. Pretend youâre an actor in an erotic playâimmerse yourself in the moment.
- Get Curious: Use questions to guide your partner. Ask things like, âWhere do you want me to touch you?â or âShould I use my tongue or my hand?â
- Give Feedback: Communicate what feels good. Use both verbal affirmations like, âI love when you do that,â and non-verbal cues like moans and sighs and mmms.
- Accentuate the Positive: Describe how your partner looks, feels, smells, sounds, and tastes. Share your appreciation and validate their actions, like saying, âYouâre getting me really excited.â
- Have Fun: Use playful techniques like mad libs to create fun and spontaneous dirty talk. For example, âI want to [action] your [body part].â
- Role Play: If youâre feeling brave, then role playing is a fun way to explore different sexual fantasies. Itâs sometimes a lot easier (and more fun!) to let your character talk dirty and come up with sexy things to say.
Dirty Talk For The Bold And Curious
Want more tips and exercises for crafting steamy dirty talk? Download my Dirty Talk Guide offers exercises and dirty talk examples designed to help you master the art of dirty talk. Whether youâre just starting out or looking to expand your repertoire, this guide offers practical advice and creative ideas to enhance your intimate moments. Embrace your bold and adventurous side and take your dirty talk to new heights!