As the holidays approach, we all feel the inevitable stress of increasing demands. Whether it’s the pressure to create the ‘perfect Christmas’, the overwhelming (and never-ending) Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals that make ‘shopping’ on a deadline to get the best deals, the heated family debates about who’s going where this year or organizing dinner and making sure we pack a turkey in time – it’s safe to say this time of year can be emotionally disruptive. For many of us, we are also so used to simply adapting to the chaotic hustle and bustle of life that it just becomes ‘normal’ for us to please people and our endless ‘to-do’ to be checked off. ‘ lists – and we can end up completely ignoring the fact that we’re having ‘mood swings’ and just feeling extremely burnt out.
There are also many other reasons why we may experience mood swings – from our hormones, to our diet (oh hello, sweet cakes!), to lack of sleep, or even the weather. And so this December – when it can be even more tempting to ignore the underlying signs of emotional dysregulation – we thought it would be powerful to explore essential oils that can help us stay regulated and a little more self-reliant this winter season. become. Take care this Christmas (which is often more important than we think).
What is ’emotional dysregulation’?
Emotional dysregulation is actually classified as a “mental health” challenge, although I actually think of it as our bodies letting us know that it’s time to slow down, turn inward, and give ourselves a little self-care. What it can feel like is like an inability to control or respond to our emotions – maybe they start to burst out or maybe we keep them inside and feel really overloaded. Either way, it can cause intense emotional responses that feel different from the normal “us.” Some examples of ’emotional dysregulation’ may include:
- Feeling our mood swing from one extreme to another
- Feeling of irritability
- Feeling angry
- Feeling anxious
- Feeling frustrated
- Feeling shame
- Feeling depressed, depressed or suicidal.
And while we sometimes joke that Christmas can be ‘stressful’, in reality it can have a major impact on our lives and wreak havoc on our emotions. However, aromatherapy can help us slow down, tune out, and create some space for our emotions during this busy time of year. So let’s break it down into the top 5 ‘December-related’ causes of mood swings – and which essential oils can help us regulate our (often highly charged!) emotions this season, along with ways we can work on them. with aromatherapy for support.
Essential oils for stress-related emotional regulation
At Christmas, stress is one of the most common reasons for emotional dysregulation. So often we can beat ourselves up (and add extra layers of shame) for having extreme emotions – things like anger, depression and anxiety can increase at this time of year, and that actually makes sense given the extra pressure.
Essential oils that are relaxing can be very calming and restorative to help with this, and the process of working with essential oils can feel relaxing too, if we combine it into a much-needed self-care routine.
Here are some stress-reducing oils:
- Bergamot – a cheerful, sweet and fruity oil, known for its relaxing, calming effects
- Lavender – the most popular essential oil. This floral oil is known for being very relaxing
- Chamomile (Roman) – an intense, spicy, fruity flower, this has a particularly stress-reducing effect
Essential oils for diet-related mood swings
In the run-up to festivities, our diet also often changes, which can have a bigger impact on our emotional regulation than we think. Those mince pies, the office chocolates, the hot chocolate and the mulled wine may look harmless, but they can really wreck our mood as our blood sugar levels rise and fall more than normal.
Essential oils that help us regulate our blood sugar levels are:
- Grapefruit – a zesty, citrusy oil, this is a detoxifying oil that also helps us feel less attracted to sweet things!
- Cinnamon – a perfect mood regulator for Christmas, with its spicy festive scent this oil can soothe the digestive system, and some research links it to the regulation of insulin (the hormone that regulates our blood sugar levels)
- Clove – a warm, spicy, woody scent. Clove is restorative and also good for oxidative stress (also known as when the body does not have enough antioxidants to fight free radicals)
Essential oils in the absence of sleep-related disruption
When we’re busy catching up on all the things we have to do, we can also struggle with our sleep. Personally, I know that when I haven’t had enough sleep I feel extremely emotionally dysregulated and this can have consequences in every way – especially if it comes up for me as internal ‘warning signs’ of ‘anger’ and ‘frustration’. For those of you with a list of things on your mind, feeling disorganized and suffering from insomnia, there are some wonderful essential oils that can support you.
Here are some ‘sleep-inducing’ oils that help soothe these emotions:
- Vetivert – an earthy, woody aroma, this oil is known as the ‘calm oil’ – perfect for calming the nervous system and helping with insomnia
- Neroli – a sweet floral oil, this insomnia-dispelling oil is powerfully relaxing and an all-rounder for emotional regulation
- Mandarin (green) – a sweet, light, citrusy oil, this has calming properties that can help regulate sleep
Essential oils for mood changes related to fluctuating hormones
Hormone fluctuations can have major consequences for us in winter, as our body reacts to the changes in the external environment (cold, darkness, etc.). Our body naturally wants to ‘go in’ and slow down (think of hibernation) and our hormones will respond to this. And we know that our hormones are chemical messengers that affect our bodies – including emotions, mood and mental health. This means that hormonal regulation is crucial this winter.
Here are some hormone balancing oils:
- Geranium – a sweet floral oil, it helps regulate hormones – especially as it has an affinity with the feminine system – and balance emotions
- Rose – a beautiful floral oil, it is hormone regulating and especially useful for mood swings and emotional problems
- Clary Sage – a dry, musky floral oil, this oil had a euphoric effect and was also balancing hormones
Essential oils for weather-related mood dips
Finally, as the weather changes, our mood can begin to change. Particularly in the UK we have a lot of rain and greyness, and the nights are getting longer and the days shorter, which can mean our mood is worsening. When we think about things like seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is caused by less sunshine, it’s easy to see that our mood can dip in December.
Here are some ‘sunny’ mood-boosting essential oils:
- Lemon – a sweet, fresh oil, this is especially uplifting and anti-depressant, making it a cheerful oil for winter
- Sweet Orange – a fruity, sweet oil that is uplifting and helps a bad mood, this is beneficial for the cold season
- Lemongrass – a more earthy citrus aroma, this oil is a restorative and uplifting tonic for a bad mood.
How to create an emotionally regulating aromatherapy blend
We can so often get caught up in our ‘to-do’s’ and the feeling of ‘perfection’ that it feels liberating to invite you to create your own blends for this. This cannot be achieved ‘right’ here – we want quick and easy, in our busy lives.
So my advice this holiday season is to scan the categories above to see what’s causing your low mood and pick 3 oils whose scent you love.
Let’s keep it simple so that you can actually integrate this into your life during this busy festive period:
Christmas emotional regulation diffusion mixture:
Every day, choose your 3 favorite oils from the oils listed above and put them in a diffuser every morning (or in the evening, for our sleepy time oils!). Add up to 6 drops (total) of your favorite 3 oils to some water in your electric diffuser or candle burner and diffuse around the room you are in, for 30 minutes at a time as desired.
Christmas bath pampering mix:
If you are also willing to make some time for yourself (which I would recommend if you suffer from emotional dysregulation), you can also make a bath mixture:
Mix up to 6 drops (in total) of your favorite 3 oils from above in 15 ml of bath oil or SLS Free Shower Gel and add to the running warm water of your bath. Close the windows/doors, put your phone on silent and sit back and inhale the aromas, let them work their magic.
A personal favorite Christmas massage mix:
If you want to enjoy a little more relaxation, you can also mix some oil to massage into your body:
Try mixing 3 drops of Sweet Orange, 2 drops of Geranium and 1 drop of Cinnamon in 15 ml of carrier oil and massage into the body in the direction of the heart. If you have sensitive skin, replace cinnamon with an alternative oil. If you prefer, you can also replace all the oils with others.
It’s helpful to remember that if you’re experiencing emotional dysregulation throughout the year, this could of course also be a sign of an underlying trauma that needs to be dealt with – or something else – so if this is a longer-term thing, I recommend taking note of that and working ‘holistically’ with someone to support a deeper healing process.
Have fun blending and regulating during the holidays. Merry christmas!
Nicole Barton
Advisor Aromatherapist
Disclaimer and safety advice
Read other articles by Nicole Barton