Dear reader, will you do this for me? Hit me with the kiss of truth?
I feel like I’ve been too hasty with my writing lately. I feel like my communication could be better. I want to talk to you today about meditation and fragmentation. One foot in front of the other. During meditation, along with developing inner discernment, I began to embrace fragmentation.
The more I saw my own process, the more fragmentation I saw. I noticed how chaotic and dark my inner landscape really was. However, the practice of awareness and non-judgment led to an internal alchemy, a process of transformation.
From about the third year of my practice on, every time I went to meditate I felt that something subtle and grand was going on. I focused on the ordinary and didn’t hold on to anything. Stay honest. Stay diligent. Stay curious and playful. The focus is on the process, not on the product.
You pay attention, but at the same time you relax into it. You learn to push and pull at the same time. Harmonizing opposing forces within is part of the practice.
To me it felt like there was an intense processing of energy happening all the time. NB. Notice the way your thoughts manifest. NB. Play with the idea that there is more to know about yourself. How big is consciousness? NB. NB. Noticing how the brain responds in reaction mode versus reaction mode.
NB. NB. You are a very fragmented young mind. The least you can do is pay attention. I’ll use my personal vices as an example: If you want to be reckless and unwise, acknowledge it and make it holy. Honestly. Truthful. Find the truth in mistakes. Find the truth in stubbornness. Find the truth in fragmentation. From fragmentation, to compartmentalization, to integration. Meditation is the catalyst for inner transformation.
Simple breathing. Simple focusing. Simple concentration. Simple experience. Make the simple holy and the miraculous will follow. As you progress on the meditative path, you will notice that you begin to feel more comfortable in your own skin. The paths along which your five senses fire become clearer and more determined.
Exciting times, my friends! Glory awaits you. A feeling of smoothness arises as the meditative cloth sands away untruths. To echo my past self, with a new level of comfort comes a new level of friction.
With the expansion of consciousness comes the increase of both light and darkness. Learning to stay balanced while increasing strength and intensity is one of the many fun challenges on the inner path. Only you can feel it. Only you can experience it. Only you can be the true master.