We realize that it’s one thing to know all about the orgasm, and quite another to experience one. Whether you’ve never had one, or want to improve the ones you already enjoy, we’ve got you covered. Here are some simple steps to start exploration:
1. Above all else, fly solo and explore. Whether you’re looking to take your pleasure to the next level by yourself or with a partner, there’s no substitute for experimentation. In order to do that, consider your environment.
- Find a time when you can really be present, and when you’re able to keep stress to a minimum. Stress is the arch enemy of sex. We can’t rid ourselves of it completely, but we can ask it to take a backseat when we’re trying to get busy.
- Don’t forget the lube! Whether for the sake of this exercise, other masturbation sessions or engagements with others, lube helps to keep sex going like – literally – a well-oiled machine.
- Secure your privacy.
- Think about ambiance. Do you want total silence or do you need some music? Consider lighting and comfort (same old sheets, or do you want to be surrounded by something special like silk, satin or velvet?)
2. It’s okay if you’re not immediately in the mood, or if you’re even a bit nervous. Most women can’t just turn on their desire spontaneously. If you relate, here are some powerful tools that can get you where you want to be:
- Read or listen to some audio erotica
- Watch some feminist, ethically produced porn
- Fantasize
3. Next, focus on touch. Pay attention to the different sensations you experience as you caress each part of your body. Remember, while most women orgasm from clitoral sensation, you might be driven crazy by stimulation of your nipples or earlobes or the inside of your thighs. Consider pressure, tempo, temperature, breathing patterns. What heats things up and what might make you hit the brakes?
Position can be everything. Are you lying down? Sitting in a chair? In the shower or bathtub? On your back? Side? Stomach? Again – take note.
- Consider toys. If touch is all you need, that’s awesome! But toys can enhance your sexual experience.
- There are so many to choose from – and so ubiquitous now you can find them at your local drug store – so you’re sure to find something to your liking.
- Ensure your toy of choice is made from non-toxic materials, and read the privacy policy if it comes with an app.
- Some devices are for internal use, others for external and even some that service both.
4. If you’ve completed exploration and still aren’t able to achieve the Big-O, you may want to consult with a medical care provider who specializes in sexual health issues (most OB/GYNs and urologists aren’t trained to address sexual pain and dysfunction, so inquire about a clinician’s background when you make an appointment). Some reasons you may be experiencing an inability to orgasm:
- High levels of stress or other behavioral health issues
- Your hormonal levels may be off, particularly testosterone which is associated with sex drive
- Interpersonal challenges
- Belief system in regard to sex
For more information about your sexual health and having a pleasure-filled sex life, contact us for a free consult to learn more!
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