We’ve all flipped through those glossy sex manuals (Cosmo et al.) and felt a pang of “Wait, where do I fit in this pretzel situation?” Most of those illustrations look like they were drawn for people who can fold themselves into a carry-on suitcase.
And if you’ve got curves that rival a Renaissance painting, some of those positions just ain’t gonna fly. Squishy bits getting in the way, not enough room for all that gloriousness, and generally feeling like your body is a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit the picture. Been there, felt that. But here’s the tea: Your body is a wonderland (sorry, not sorry), and it deserves to be celebrated in all its delicious glory.
That’s why we sat down with Sofie Roos, a Licensed sexologist and relationship therapist at Passionerad, to get a rundown of which sex positions are the most empowering and pleasurable for plus-size bodies.
The Spoon
Spooning is super intimate, with tons of full-body contact — perfect for curvier frames. To do it, one partner lies on their side (little spoon) while the other (big spoon) nestles in behind them.
“The Spoon works great for plus-sized people,” says Roos. “It’s a very intimate position that lets you kiss and whisper things in each other’s ears.”
To make this position even more sensual, try incorporating a wand vibrator, like the Ultra Wand XL. The big spoon can easily reach around and use the wand to add extra pleasure for either partner.
The Cowgirl
When it comes to empowering sex positions, you really can’t beat Cowgirl. Even so, many plus-sized folks avoid this position, thinking they’ll “crush” their partner. But as Roos explains, that’s rarely the case.
“The top partner’s legs bear most of the pressure, with the weight distributed onto the mattress,” says Roos. So, unless your partner is made of spun sugar, you’re not going to flatten them. Plus, Cowgirl lets you “grind against each other in ways that feel good but aren’t necessarily so physically demanding,” Roos adds. “For example, the one riding can rub back and forth to stimulate the clitoris.”
The best part? Cowgirl puts you in the driver’s seat. You control the speed, the angle, and the depth. And, if you’d rather not grind your lady bits directly on your partner’s pelvis, you can use a bullet vibrator (customers love our OG Ultra Bullet) or finger to get yourself off.
Doggy Style
Doggy style is a classic for a reason: It’s primal, passionate, and oh-so-satisfying. It’s also relatively easy to get into, and it allows for deep, satisfying penetration for G-spot or P-spot stimulation (depending on who’s bottoming).
If you have knee issues or just want some extra cushioning, place a pillow or two under your hips or knees for support. For even deeper penetration, if kneeling isn’t comfortable for the giving partner, they can stand at the edge of the bed while you arch your back and open your hips.
Since doggy style leaves your hands free, it’s the perfect opportunity to incorporate a vibrator for clitoral stimulation. Experiment with different speeds and patterns to find what gets you going. The receiving partner can also wear a cock ring to prolong their erection and add a little girth.
If you’re into anal play, doggy style is a great position to add a butt plug or anal toy for extra sensations. Use plenty of lube and start with smaller toys, gradually increasing the size as you feel comfortable.