There are two ways to figure out our problems; either from the outside in or from the inside out.
From the outside in it looks like this: So you have a problem. There’s a reason you have a problem, right? Therefore, you can always justify your behavior to yourself. But this is like a door with a double lock: one on the outside and one on the inside. The outside lock can be opened by someone else, someone who is trying to help you see yourself. But if you don’t open the inner lock, the aid goes in one ear and out the other. Why? Because you don’t have the key to self-awareness.
From the inside out it looks like this: When you are on a spiritual journey, something inside you wants the truth. When your Spirit begins to grow as a result of spiritual practice, it begins to fight with the ego until you say, “I must change; I want to change.” Then you change; you open the door from the inside. There may still be fear because you think that if you open the door, no one will be there to help you. That’s okay, just open the door anyway.
It’s easier if you start with small things that need to change first. In the beginning you have to force yourself. It will be difficult because it will feel ‘unnatural’ to you. That’s okay; do what feels unnatural so that it eventually becomes natural.
Do something you wouldn’t normally do. Build discipline. Then you can break through the unnatural and make it natural for you. Force yourself to be disciplined. You can wait until things get so uncomfortable that they force you to change, or you can be proactive and do something as soon as you see it. Everyone has a different way. Some people wait until they see the whole picture before they change. Others take the risk without seeing it, and then do something else as soon as they see a little bit of the picture. It doesn’t matter which path you take. Just change!