Let’s be honest with each other for a sec — who hasn’t gotten at least a little curious about what it would be like to enter through the backdoor? Whether you’ve heard whispers about heightened pleasure, more intense orgasms, or the thrill of breaking down taboos, there’s no denying that anal sex holds a certain allure. Some say it can deepen intimacy, others are drawn to the mystique of new sensations, but whatever the reason, if you’re curious, it’s worth learning how to do it safely, comfortably, and enjoyably.
This is the ultimate guide to anal sex: Everything you need to know to explore this new side of pleasure. Read on for the whys, the whats, and hows of taking the backroad.
What is anal sex, and why do people do it?
“Anal sex refers to the insertion of the penis, fingers, or a sex toy into the anus,” Dr. Maria Knobel, the Medical Director of Medical Cert UK, tells FemmeFunn. “ It’s a form of sexual activity that can be enjoyable for people across all genders and sexual orientations.”
Anal sex has a far longer history than you might expect. It’s been recorded in ancient texts, immortalized in art, and embraced by cultures across the globe for thousands of years, proving that curiosity about backdoor exploration is actually nothing new. Back in the day, Greece was all about anal play, particularly between two men — so much so that even Plato himself wrote about it in Symposium. The Romans? Same deal. Anal sex shows up in their art, poetry, and everyday life, across both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Meanwhile, over in China, Taoist teachings like the Handbook of Sex laid out all kinds of intimate practices, including the joys of sodomy. The TL;DR is that anal sex is nothing new — people have been laying the groundwork here for centuries.
“In terms of benefits, many people find this kind of intercourse pleasurable due to the high concentration of nerve endings in the anal region, which can lead to intense sensations,” explains Dr. Knobel. “Moreover, it can add variety to a sexual relationship, contributing to intimacy and satisfaction between partners.”
It’s important to keep in mind that high reward can come with high risk. As Dr. Knobel points out, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, which increases the risk of discomfort, tearing, or injury if sufficient lubrication isn’t used.
“There’s also a higher risk of sexually transmitted infections during anal sex, especially if protection such as condoms is not employed. Therefore, communication, preparation, and safety measures are very important to ensure that anal sex is both enjoyable and safe,” she asserts.
What about rimming?
Okay, let’s talk rimming! Also known as anilingus, it’s basically giving the anus some love with your mouth. And trust us, those nerve endings back there? Amazing. Just remember, hygiene is key — we want pleasure, not problems. A clean bottom is a happy bottom (and a healthy one!).
Think of it as a delicious appetizer for anal sex—a perfect way to warm things up and get your partner relaxed and ready. Here are some tips for maximizing the pleasure:
💋 Do your homework. Take extra care to make sure you’re squeaky clean before anyone tosses your salad, and make sure to communicate with your play partner before you start. “Both parties should be comfortable discussing and managing the risks involved,” Dr. Knobel says.
💋 Don’t be shy. If you’re giving the rim job yourself, get creative by using your tongue in a variety of motions. Try soft licks, teasing flicks, and gentle suction, then use your partner’s reactions to gauge just how bold you should be.
💋 When in doubt, return to basics. Nobody is a professional on their first go-around. Feel free to go back to your hands to enhance the experience if you get lost. You can try massaging the surrounding area or peppering light, teasing touches to the inner thighs and back.
Prepping for Anal: How to Have Anal Sex for the First Time
So, you’re ready to explore down south but not sure where to begin? No sweat! This is your go-to guide for prepping for some bootylicious action:
💋 Consider communication and consent as non-negotiables. Start an open, judgment-free conversation with your SO about boundaries and comfort levels before you go in face-first. This will make the experience far better for both partners.
💋 Prep before and after. “Gently cleanse the anal area with warm water and a mild, fragrance-free soap. This helps minimize the risk of infections and makes the experience more pleasant,” says Dr. Knobel. “Some people prefer using a mild antiseptic wipe for added cleanliness, but make sure it’s gentle and safe for sensitive skin.”
💋 Don’t forget about STI risks. Anal sex carries a higher risk for certain STIs such as HIV and HPV, so use a condom or a dental dam to protect yourself and your partner.
💋 Lube, lube, and more lube. We truly can’t stress this enough. Long-lasting lube is a must for any kind of anal play! Opt for a water- or silicone-based formula to reduce any friction and boost your comfort level.
💋 Get in the mood. What comes to mind when you think about sensual foreplay? Candles? Wine? Mood music? Anal sex can jumpstart the nerves for any first-timer but don’t panic. Pull out all the stops to help your body and mind warm up to the experience.
Step-by-Step Guide: How to Have Anal Sex for the First Time
Alright, you’re curious, you’re prepped, and you’re ready to get down and dirty (in the back, that is!). Here’s a crash course to trying anal for the first time:
💋 Start slow and gentle. Patience will be essential as you start with gentle touches, heavy petting, and shallow entry to help the recipient adjust. In spite of any adrenaline spike you might experience, rushing can lead to friction and discomfort. A gradual approach is best.
💋 Focus on the foreplay. The hotter you are going into penetration, the smoother things will be. Spend extra time on heavy petting or your favorite form of foreplay to heighten satisfaction and ease any body tension.
💋 Be mindful of positions. Not every position is created equal. Spooning or girl-on-top might allow for better ease of movement, making them prime for first-time anal enthusiasts. We’ll cover beginner-friendly positions later on.
💋 Keep the line of communication open. Check in regularly with your partner through verbal or non-verbal cues from start to finish, and don’t be afraid to pause if something isn’t *ahem* sitting right. The best experiences will be accompanied by comfort and shared understanding.
Best Anal Sex Positions
Let’s get one thing straight: position matters. A lot. The right one puts you in control, keeps you comfortable, and makes it easy to communicate with your partner(s). That means more intimacy and hotter sex. Here are some great options for beginners:
Spooning
Dr. Knobel’s number #1 recommendation is the spooning position. “This involves both partners lying on their sides, with the receiving partner’s back to the penetrating partner’s front,” she explains. “This position is particularly beneficial for beginners because it allows for a slower, more controlled entry, which can reduce any initial discomfort. The side-lying angle provides a gentler approach and minimizes the intensity of penetration, making it easier to ease into the experience.”
Cowgirl
This tried-and-true is another perfect option for anal penetration. “Here, the receiving partner is on top while the penetrating partner lies on their back,” Dr. Knobel illustrates. “This position offers significant advantages for those new to anal sex because it gives the receiving partner full control over the depth and speed of penetration. Being on top allows them to adjust the movements and angle to suit their comfort level.”
Doggy Style
On-all-fours is a winner for comfortable anal sex. Even though you’re on the bottom, you’re totally in charge. You control the speed, the depth, everything. And the best part? It’s fantastic for clitoral stimulation. So, you’re getting you’re getting double the O’s. You’ll be loose, excited, and ready for anything.
How to Level Up Your Anal Play
After a couple of long, scenic drives down the back road (if you catch our drift), you might be ready to take things up a notch. As any anal veteran will tell you, the inclusion of pleasure products, advanced techniques, and experimentation can ensure that anal never loses its appeal.
💋 Add sex toys to the mix. Want to take your anal play to the next level? Anal beads, butt plugs, or even a double-ended dildo can seriously light things up back there. We’re obsessed with the Ossia; it’s perfect for warming up your backdoor while giving your clit some love at the same time.
💋 Switch it up! Speed, angles, rhythm — it’s all about finding what feels amazing for you. Try rocking, go for some circles, or even try edging when regular thrusting gets a little too predictable. The world is your oyster, babe!
💋 Don’t be afraid to experiment. Your body is a playground, and there’s so much to discover! Try playing with temperature (warm lube can be incredibly sensual, while cool lube can be surprisingly invigorating). Bondage can create new levels of intimacy and pleasure. And if you’re feeling a little adventurous, explore impact play. Just remember, this is your journey. Listen to your instincts and enjoy every moment.
The Bottom Line
Anal sex has been a part of the sexual vernacular for centuries, but for many, it’s still uncharted territory. Whether you’re trying butt stuff for the first time or looking to ramp up your experience, remember these three guidelines: Listen to your body, communicate openly, and have fun. From choosing the right lube to getting into position, a little knowledge goes a long way toward that unique and euphoric experience so often attributed to anal play. And when you’re ready to up the ante, consider adding a toy or two to the mix.