Getting clear about your vision of married life is SO important before you get married. And then getting clear about the vision of married life your future spouse has is the very next step!
Together with your future spouse, you can build the foundation of for a successful marriage, one that is long-lasting and fulfilling.
I’ve just launched a PreMarital Preparation Course that helps couples contemplating marriage work through six major areas of their relationship. Today, I’m sharing with you those six areas and giving you a glimpse at what we explore in each section of the course.
How To Prepare For Marriage: 6 Areas To Explore
These are the six areas I recommend my clients to master in order to have a fulfilling partnership. This will be an introspective process of personal growth. So buckle up, grab a pen and notebook, and let’s begin.
1. Values & defining your relationship
So many marriages fail because nobody bothered to get clear about what their ideal relationship looked like! Defining your values can help you get a clear picture of what you’re looking for. These values shape your actions, decisions, and how you interact with your partner.
Take time to identify what matters most to each of you—whether it’s honesty, compassion, adventure, or stability. Discuss these values openly and align them, as this alignment will guide your relationship through challenges and triumphs.
This alignment not only prevents future conflicts but also strengthens your bond as you navigate life together.
Discuss your visions for the future, including career aspirations, family plans, and lifestyle preferences. Embracing each other’s aspirations not only strengthens your bond but also creates a vibrant, purposeful journey together, where every step is taken hand in hand, and every success is a shared celebration. This approach lays the groundwork for a resilient and fulfilling partnership.
2. Family background
Understanding the roles, expectations, and traditions you grew up with is a highly underrated exercise that can (and will) explain everything about your relationship dynamics. Reflect on the family environment each of you was raised in—how were household chores divided, what were the communication patterns, and what traditions were upheld?
These aspects shape your behavior and expectations in a relationship. This understanding is also a gift to your future family.
Discover how your family background influences your relationship dynamics. Sometimes, differing family cultures can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts. Take the time to talk about how fights were resolved, any triggers you have, what personal space looks like in your family, and all the nitty gritty details.
By acknowledging and respecting these differences, you can create a more harmonious and empathetic partnership, blending your unique backgrounds into a cohesive, supportive relationship.
3. Financial planning and finances
One of the most common issues in marriages stem from finances! Before letting it get to that point, take the time to discuss how money was handled in your household growing up, how you handle it now, and what your strengths and weaknesses are in finances. This open discussion is crucial for marital happiness as it helps build trust and understanding between partners.
Then develop a plan for managing your finances, including budgeting, saving, and spending.
Sit down together and create a detailed budget, discuss your saving goals, and decide on spending priorities. Transparency is key—be honest about your financial situation and work together to create a plan that fits both of your needs.
Learn strategies for financial planning that suit both your needs. Consider seeking advice from a financial planner to help you navigate joint accounts, investments, and future financial goals. Establishing good financial habits now will set a solid foundation for your marriage.
4. Communication & dealing with disappointment
My number one piece of advice: master effective communication skills, including conflict resolution skills, and learn how to handle disappointment in your relationship.
Communication is the backbone of a healthy relationship. Practice active listening, express your thoughts clearly, and be open to your partner’s perspective. When disappointments arise, approach them with empathy and a willingness to understand each other’s feelings.
It’s not all butterflies and rainbows. Even if you have the best intentions, you’ll have certain triggers (and so will your partner). Learn how to recognize when you or your partner are being triggered and make a game plan for getting through it.
Build strategies to manage conflicts and develop tools for resolving conflicts calmly and constructively. This might include setting aside time to talk, using “I” statements to express feelings, and taking breaks when emotions run high.
When you both work together to master these skills, you’ll be SO much better able to handle challenges and maintain a strong, loving connection through all of the ups and downs.
5. Healthy sexuality & emotional and physical intimacy
This is the fun part!
Learn how to discuss and address sexual concerns openly. Don’t shy away from conversations about sex. Address any concerns or changes in your sexual relationship with openness and compassion.
Spend time discussing your sexual desires, boundaries, and preferences to ensure a fulfilling sexual relationship. Talk about the fun stuff, but also talk about the awkward stuff: how often is ideal for you, what does a healthy sex life look like to you, what are some sexual hang-ups you might have?
Regularly check in with each other to maintain this connection. This transparency will deepen your emotional and physical intimacy in BIG ways. Understanding these aspects is crucial for a healthy marriage.
6. Future family planning & maintaining connection over time
Be very frank about your desires and plans in terms of family planning, like whether or not you even want children. Having conversations about whether you want children, when, and how many is extremely important! Understanding your future spouse’s views on family planning can help align your long-term goals.
Next Steps
Enroll in my PreMarital Preparation Course to get all of the curriculum materials today.
Premarital coaching can provide essential tools and insights to build a strong foundation for your relationship. Book a call with me to explore how premarital counseling can support you and your future spouse.