Helping the dying
For those who are anxious or afraid of dying, teaching relaxation or guiding a simple relaxation technique can be very helpful. I usually leave a relaxation tape for them to use at any time of the day or night, as needed. If necessary, touch, massage, reflexology and similar techniques can also be very soothing and stress-relieving, especially as the person may be somewhat starved by the fears and clumsiness of the people visiting him or her.
A simple meditation technique that is very effective is breathing awareness. The person becomes aware of the movement of the breath in and out at the nostrils, breathing naturally and easily, without forcing or exaggerating the breath. At the same time, any thoughts that arise are released, allowing the mind to continually return to breathing. This technique, although simple, can induce a very calm state of mind and relieve anxiety.
The beauty of this technique is that 1) it can be done for short periods of time and requires little concentration, which is often diminished by the effects of illness and medication, 2) it helps calm the mind and reduce anxiety, 3) it utilizes and strengthens the person’s spiritual refuge, 4) it requires nothing other than the breath.
For both a religious and a non-religious person, a ‘healing’ meditation with white light can bring great comfort and benefit. The person visualizes a brilliant ball of white light above their head, with the light flowing down through their body, removing illness, pain, fear and worry and filling the body with blissful healing light energy. Depending on the person’s belief system, they may view the light as something inherent in the nature of Jesus, or Buddha, or some other spiritual figure, or they may simply visualize it as a source of universal healing energy. This meditation combines very well with the breath awareness technique and is also good to have on tape to leave with the person to use day or night as needed. When a person is near death, he or she may also be encouraged to enter into the light, into the heart of Jesus or Buddha, who sits above his or her head, whichever is appropriate for that person.
Using guided imagery or soft music can also be soothing and relaxing and help the person have a calm and peaceful mind as they approach death.
An even more advanced technique is the meditation on ‘breathing in and inhaling’, as described in Tibetan Buddhist scriptures. In this meditation, you visualize yourself taking on the suffering of all other living beings (or this could be limited to people with cancer or AIDS, etc.) in the form of black smoke, which you inhale while inhaling. Then, as we exhale, all our health, happiness and positive qualities are sent to other living beings in the form of white light, and we visualize them receiving everything they want. In our hearts we visualize a black rock of selfishness, and as the black smoke is inhaled, we visualize it hitting the black rock and crushing it completely, eradicating every trace of selfishness from our minds.
This meditation is a profound method for quickly developing compassion, but only a minority of patients will be able to use this method. The usual way to progress in these meditations is to start with small problems such as headaches or fatigue, etc., and then gradually train our mind to transform larger and larger problems.
Conclusion:
The goal of all these methods is to help the dying person die with a calm, happy and positive mind. Anything we can do to achieve this will benefit the person, whether that is good nursing care and pain relief, massage, the presence of a loving family or whatever. It is said that the best thing we can offer a dying person is our own calm and peaceful mind.
In this way we will help the dying person make the transition from this life to the next as smoothly and meaningfully as possible, recognizing the vital spiritual importance of this transition.