Throughout our lives we fall in and out of love – it’s human nature. Sometimes love lasts and grows stronger as time passes. Other times it fades or changes – sometimes in ways we never imagined.
But as time and feelings change, people often try to get others to change. We think, “If only he or she were more…” Fill in any adjective you like here: understanding, compassionate, personable, romantic; the list goes on. We’ve all done it. We’ve all tried to change someone to fit what we’re looking for, whether it’s an emotional need or a physical need.
But changing someone never works. People don’t change because they are forced to. They change because something inside them lights up and says, “It’s time.” The person or people you love may never change. They may never fit the mold of what you “want them to be.” And that’s okay. They are not meant to fit into a mold. They are exactly as they should be.
Can we all be a better version of ourselves? Certainly. We can be more understanding. We can let our partners know how we feel. And we can be more patient. But it is not your job to change someone at their core. That is individual work.
Instead, follow the words of Wes Angelozzi: “Go to love someone exactly as he or she is.” And then watch how quickly they transform into the biggest, truest version of themselves. When someone feels seen and valued in their own essence, they immediately become stronger.”
As you love those around you for who they are at their core, don’t forget to bring that love and understanding inward. We are not always the perfect souls we want to be. And we do not always live up to our own – often lofty – expectations of ourselves. Remember to have grace and patience with yourself. You are a constantly evolving work in progress. The person you are today lays the foundation for the incredible person you will become tomorrow. If only we could see ourselves and the people around us in that beautiful light.