However, you have the power, the choice is yours; whether you fight or flow. Everything outside of you has no power to influence your inner state of being without your response or resistance.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. The Old Masters teach us that having a non-attached attitude towards all experiences and events in life will help create a stress-free life.
Thoughts aren’t actually the problem; attachment to them, namely belief in them, causes suffering. As a Zen master says, “Let thoughts come and go, but don’t invite them for tea.”
Experiences beyond your control will always follow their natural course, so worrying about them or “overthinking” them will do you no good. As the Buddhist master Shantideva said, “If you can solve a problem, why worry? And if you can’t solve a problem, why worry?
Maintain a balanced mind by observing experiences from a place of mindfulness and non-attachment – meaning there is no emotional investment, and therefore no emotional response. This will maintain harmony between body and mind and help access the flow state.
Once you can gain some space for your thoughts with mindfulness, there is a flow into life, a way of energy moving through you that doesn’t get stuck, and an access to your natural love and intuition that can guide you rather than lead you around. to be affected by your fears and judgments.
A story of a farmer who goes with the flow
A farmer and his son had a beloved horse with which the family could earn a living. One day the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse has run away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
A few days later the horse returned home and also led a few wild horses back to the farm. The neighbors shouted, ‘Your horse has returned and brought home several horses. What a luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
Later that week, the farmer’s son tried to break one of the horses, but she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbors shouted: “Your son has broken his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
A few weeks later, national army soldiers marched through the city and recruited all the boys into the army. They did not take the farmer’s son with them because he had a broken leg. The neighbors shouted: “Your boy has been spared, how lucky!” To which the farmer replied: “Maybe, maybe not.”
Life is transient, in a constant flow of change there is no room for fixed judgments, because nothing is really black or white. What seems like a bad experience now can be a blessing later.
Life will happen as it happens outside of you, but it is your choice to bring the energy from outside into your field of consciousness. There will be times when you get sucked into experiences, where you feel the gravity of certain events or people, but it is wise to always look at it from a higher perspective; understanding that you can feel the emotions without getting stuck in them. This is the essence of mindfulness meditation.
The ego will always create drama in the mind, a viscous cycle of constructing a story and then falling victim to the fate of your made-up character. This will consume your energy and limit and narrow your consciousness.
This is where your meditation practice begins and takes you from a state of thought identification to thought observation. Rest back in your true nature of open consciousness. Once you begin to quietly observe and allow the drama to play out in the mind, without believing in your thoughts and stories, they will disappear and balance will be restored. Eventually your thoughts will no longer have any power over you at all.
So meditation is not about controlling your thoughts, but about no longer letting them control you.
1. Give your unwanted things to others
You can’t take it with you when you’re gone, so let it go; when you don’t use it. Especially if items are related to past memories, removing items related to past memories frees you and allows you to stop living in the past. As one Buddhist says, “As soon as I let go of something, I create space and experience joy; As soon as I give things away, I experience a joy that I cannot find in keeping them.”
2. Smile and be grateful
No matter what life throws at you, always remember to smile and count your blessings. Every day is full of endless possibilities. Start it off with a smile and remember three things you are grateful for. Be kind to yourself and remember that the world needs more smiles.
3. Immerse yourself in every moment
Remind yourself to practice embracing the sights, the sounds, the smells, the emotions, the highs and lows of life in each moment, mindful of the gift of this present moment. Your mindfulness practice will become a habit and before you know it, you will be more present in all your experiences.
4. Forgive more
As Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else, but you only end up burning yourself.” Don’t let the past be a prison sentence, free the chains of stressful memories through forgiveness. Let go and choose to be present in the moment. Forgiveness is not for others, it is actually for your peace of mind and regaining your flow.
5. Don’t forget to breathe deeply
Breathing is the perfect example of going with the flow. When we are stressed or anxious, our breathing becomes shallow or we even unconsciously hold our breath. By breathing deeply we relax the nervous system, activate the relaxation response and get back into the flow of the present moment.
6. Don’t worry anymore
You can rock the seat of worry all you want, but it won’t get you anywhere. You can’t fully appreciate today if you worry too much about tomorrow. Redirect your mental energy and focus to the flow of the moment. If you can find peace and harmony through mindfulness, the ups and downs of life become less important.
7. Learn to love everything
Love is the key and actually includes all other tips. The openness and lack of resistance of love are the lubricants that allow the ease of the flow state to truly manifest. One Zen master even suggests that you can enjoy your problems. With the right amount of mindfulness, you can actually become calm enough to participate in life in a joyful and loving way. Without judgment or fear, love is actually the essence of the flow experience. As the great mystic Rumi says, “Your job is not to look for love, but only to look for and find all the barriers within yourself that you have erected against it.”