So, everything’s moving along with the woman in your life. You’ve been together for a long time, and you know each other better than anyone else. You get how she deals with emotional issues, stress, illness, injury. And you know how to provide comfort to her during hard times.
And then, out of the blue…something you can’t quite put your finger on. Maybe it’s subtle, or maybe it feels like a tsunami. But something is definitely up.
You may be asking yourself, “is it hormonal”? But allow me to do you a solid (and it’s a big one): before you jump to conclusions, before you start doing chronological gymnastics in your head and before you make any assumptions (because we all know where assuming gets us): ask. Communicate. And maybe don’t do it when the cat has just thrown up on the bed or when you’re both trying to get out for work in the chaos of the morning.
If your partner is in her 30s, 40s or 50s, she could be experiencing perimenopause.
She could also just be having a crappy day for a variety of other reasons! Here’s a little background on perimenopause: it’s the transition phase between the onset of those first symptoms of menopause (like hot flashes, mood swings, brain fog and low sex drive to name a few) and the date when a woman is officially in menopause. Perimenopause lasts from 5-7 years on average but can exist for over a decade!
I’m going to let you in on the very best way you can offer support, and here it is:
Ask her what she needs. And then, give her what she needs. Is it really that simple? Yes, yes, it is. And you can ask in this super simplified way: “how can I help? Want me to just listen? Anything I can do for you? Or maybe you want some space?” See? Easy peasy lemon squeezy. At least, asking the question is. The rest we’ll cover in a future blog.
When it starts, as well as the symptoms, are often a mystery.
Some women don’t experience any perimenopause symptoms at all; others have pretty disruptive stuff with which to contend. And the really hard part is that we as a society are only JUST starting to talk about it. Many women are therefore, feeling just as confused as their partners when it comes to symptoms as well as potential treatment options. So, for many women, just feeling supported goes a long way to dealing with their new reality and navigating the best ways to deal with these changes together.
If the woman in your life is struggling with perimenopause, our team of Certified Menopause Practitioners at Maze Women’s Health can help. Learning more about the symptoms and treatments available can help kick-start the conversation.
Contact us to schedule a phone consult or appointment to find out about treatment options that might be right for her. We can also help you both if you need to address your communication styles – it’s never too late to learn something new about yourselves and how you engage with one another.