Check out G&STC’s Director Jesse Kahn talking with Fabiana Buontempo at Buzzfeed about the recently viral birth order dating theory.
What is the birth order dating theory?
“‘The ‘birth order theory’ says that a person’s position in the family (such as the oldest, middle, youngest, or only child) influences their personality and behaviors,’ Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, CST, Director and Sex Therapist at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York, explained to BuzzFeed.
‘According to the theory, first children may be more responsible, duty-oriented, and achievement-minded; middle children might be more adaptable and diplomatic and the peacekeeper of the family, and youngest children may be more outgoing, rebellious, and exploratory,’ Jesse added. ‘I think we are also seeing narratives about the intersection between birth order theory and gender, such as first daughters having unique experiences,’ continued Jesse.”
The importance of context
“Jesse added, ‘It’s important to remember that the differences between birth order are largely impacted by and dependent on how the parents or guardians treat each of their children. For example, we assume that the eldest child will be ‘parentified’ in some capacity. Still, there are middle children, especially in large families, where a middle child will be responsible for younger siblings and treated more like an eldest is typically treated.’”
Read the full article here.
More from G&STC Director Jesse Kahn on this topic:
Does birth order lead to distinct differences?
Anecdotally speaking, I think a lot of people understand parts of their personality, behaviors, and inner world as being linked to their relationship with where they are positioned in their family, which is sometimes reflective of their birth order, and sometimes it’s not.
Does birth order impact relationships?
While birth order may influence compatibility, ultimately individual personalities, values, goals for their relationship, attachment styles, communication styles, and more play a much larger role in the success of a relationship.